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My Wild West Days

by Nova Robotics Initiative

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1.
I am the moustache twirling villain that ties you to a train track every night And I'll hold you for ransom and I won't use my words every time we get in a fight But I know deep down there's a hero waiting for a single triumph of good But I'm not sure if he will ever come out or if he'll ever be understood This is the cold in the summer This is the heat in the winter This is victory for the losers This is defeat for the winners I am the sad excuse for a husband that you come home to every day And I may cook some meals, may pay some bills, but that really doesn't make this ok But I know deep down that I'm happy with my life even though I complain all the time So I'm sorry you have to put up with my bullshit, you have to listen to me whine This is the cold in the summer This is the heat in the winter This is victory for the losers This is defeat for the winners This is IQ for Dummies This is reprieve for the haunted This is the drink for the sober God damnit this is just what I wanted
2.
They say it's been a lousy quarter They don't know anything at all Staring at the charts and the graphs Projected on the board room wall They say I don't meet expectations I start to laugh a little bit Staring at the Gulf outside the window Trying hard not to quit Well who cares what happens with the audit And who cares if that whole thing's over budget And who cares if the report doesn't go out on time I've got more important things on my mind And there's this girl across the office She's been giving me some heartache And it's been building up inside of me Not sure how much more I can take Well I know that I was hired for this And this is not ok But I've tried to struggle for too long now It would catch up to me some day So who cares about my panic attacks And who cares that I'm drinking every day And who cares if it feels like I'm running out of time I've got more important things on my mind They say it's been a lousy quarter They don't know anything at all They say I don't meet expectations They don't know anything at all
3.
Dizzy Spells 03:09
Lying in bed Staring up At the swirling ceiling fan Wondering If it's the room Or you that's really spinning Keep this in mind You're the only one Who keeps a record of your faults Lying on the floor Staring up At the swirling ceiling fan Wondering If alcohol Can really solve all of your problems Keep this in mind You're the only one Who keeps a record of your faults Keep this in mind You're the only one Who keeps a record of your faults No sense in dwelling on all of our past mistakes Regret is just like quicksand, once you start to sink you can't be saved I'm lying on the ground I don't know if I'll get back up I'm sinking further down I don't know if I give a fuck
4.
I'm in the process of making progress on my New Year's resolution To make my life a little better and start working toward solutions And I'll get there someday Yeah I'll get out of bed someday Try to keep your cool in the colder months, don't fall in love in the fall Keep a spring in your step and don't get burned when the summer begins to call And I'll get there someday Yeah I'll get out of bed someday I am the air in the breath you breathe I am the silence when you want to talk I am a dagger in a den full of thieves I am a silhouette traced in chalk I am the song in your head you can't get out no matter how hard you try I am a bag full of autumn leaves, my guts torn and spilled all over the sidewalk I'm on a roll like a stop at a stop sign Hurtling forward toward uncertain death Depending on a liquid to feel fine Feeling closer with every breath It's not worth keeping up with acquaintances I'd be much better off all alone I am the air in the breath you breathe I am the silence when you want to talk I am a dagger in a den full of thieves I am a silhouette traced in chalk I am the song in your head you can't get out no matter how hard you try I am a bag full of autumn leaves, my guts torn and spilled all over the sidewalk Living and leaving
5.
I don't know why you ever said yes Didn't want to disappoint me I guess Unrequited doesn't have much of a ring My love was uninvited so here's the thing You'll be happier, happier, happier, when I'm Happier, happier, happier, when I'm gone You never loved those things that I did When we were younger, when we were kids Disenchanted doesn't have much of a ring I took your love for granted so here's the thing You'll be happier, happier, happier, when I'm Happier, happier, happier, when I'm gone
6.
It's days like these I need to find a way To handle my anxiety To keep my hair from turning grey To tell myself it will be ok And when I try to make a mantra Like my yoga obsessed sister wants me to It comes out sounding like total gibberish So I fake it and hide my true self away from view It's days like these I need to get it through my head That I need to get out of bed That this creeping sense of dread Doesn't mean I'd be better off dead And when I try to pick up a hobby Like my oil painting mother wants me to It comes out looking like a total train wreck So I tear it up and try to start something new If you've got nothing to wake up for You're never sleeping in So even on my brightest days It's always looking grim And I have nothing to wake up for So I'm never sleeping yeah I'm never sleeping in And when I try to start exercising Like my sport enthusiast father wants me to I come out feeling totally exhausted So I just give up and go get some fast food If you've got nothing to wake up for You're never sleeping in So even on my brightest days It's always looking grim So if I never wake up, oh I hope I never wake up, cause if I never wake up Then I'm never sleeping yeah I'm never sleeping in
7.
Knee deep in a sea of crown Feeling a weight start to pull me down Letting the oaken waves wash over me Alone in an old hotel Depending on a drink to feel well Waiting for the void to set me free Seven years gone by Seven years gone by So why oh why do I Even try You said you never meant to cause me pain Didn't want to hurt so you refrained From telling me the truth But now I'm crumbling apart Collecting pieces of a broken heart And don't deny it's cause of you Seven years gone by Seven years gone by So why oh why do I Even try
8.
Bad Days 03:27
I've been having freak outs Walking the edge of a sharp sharp knife And I've had my doubts About this part of my life Can't keep my thoughts straight About the people that I love Feeling this dead weight Pushing down on me from above And on the off chance that things fall into place I'll wake up to see your face Without feeling the room close in around me God damn these bad days When you feel like letting go When despite being surrounded by loved ones You've never felt more alone I know I've complained About some minor things before But when all of this shit builds up I'd rather stay in bed and wait for the world to implode I've been feeling tired Finding it hard to open my eyes And I've admired The way other people get on with their lives Can't seem to focus on A single thought for very long And I am long gone So I guess I'll sing this song And on the off chance that things fall into place I'll wake up to see your face Without feeling the room close in around me God damn these bad days When you feel like letting go When despite being surrounded by loved ones You've never felt more alone I know I've complained About some minor things before But when all of this shit builds up I'd rather stay in bed and wait for the world to implode I'd rather wait
9.
Washed up like a shipwrecked sailor On the shores of an ocean of whiskey The waves lapping at my ankles The ground crumbling beneath me Running in circles like a champion greyhound On the circuit of my days The rabbit just out of my reach Soon to be another one of the strays It never dawned on me It never dawned on me And I wonder If I'm a tutor In this theater What are we fighting for But I'm a fighter And a drunken sexter I can be persuasive, enter These open gates It never dawned on me It never dawned on me But it dawned on you It dawned on you
10.
There's too many days that I have spent Wondering if my life is worth it Wondering if all of this bullshit Will ever amount to anything There's too many years that I have shaved Off of my already shortened lifespan Wondering if my life is more than A series of minor sufferings And I'm not sure how many more songs I can sing There's too many days that I have worked For a stupid fucking paycheck As my life's a total train wreck And I can't keep going on There's too many years that I have lost Thinking about my life's bleak ending As every second I am spending Just makes me more and more withdrawn And it's too late, I'm already too far-gone There's too many days that I have fled From all of the people that I burden Hiding myself in waves of bourbon And I'm starting to concede There's too many years that I have kept All my secrets deep inside me But now it's all starting to choke me I'm floundering in my time of need And I'm the last of a dying breed
11.
This isn't the first time I've thought about you Since you been out of my life Since you made my nightmares come true I should've known better I should've realized What it's like to truly be alone What it's like to cry You never appreciated The things that I did Back when we were together Back when we were kids I should've known better I should've realized What it's like to truly be alone What it's like to cry When I think of all the years we've spent together Disappointment is the only word that comes to mind And I'd rather be stumbling through dark and stormy weather Than waste another thought on someone so selfish and blind So this is the last time I'll think about you Now that you're out of my life Now that I've told myself we were through I should've known better I should've realized What it's like to truly be alone What it's like to cry
12.
I'm living my Wild West days Riding 'cross the plains Steering clear of outlaws Breaking mares and blazing trails And swinging like a saloon door Falling off oh falling off oh falling off The hinges Slide a drink across the bar To the belle in the blue dress Under my sleeve a hidden card Derringer tucked in the pocket of my vest It may be fun but you know you can't get by on it It may be fun but you know you can't get by on it Lonesome nights on the frontier Count the speckles of popcorn in the ceiling Watch the sunset disappear Shots in a duel that leave me reeling It may be fun but you know you can't get by on it It may be fun but you know you can't get by on it I'm living my Wild West days Riding 'cross the plains Steering clear of outlaws Breaking mares and blazing trails And swinging like a saloon door Falling off oh falling off oh falling off Falling off oh falling off oh falling off Falling off oh falling off I'm falling off The hinges
13.
Kerosene 05:40
Woke up this morning And I felt without warning Like my life was different As if suddenly All the things that bugged me Were just nonexistent And I realized the difference between Nightmares and dreams Was just dramamine And I realized the difference between Expectation and reality Was just a smokescreen Walked out my front door And the wind was in an uproar Pulling things into a cyclone Everything in it's right place In the whole human race No longer feeling alone And I realized the difference between The end and eternity Was just caffeine And I realized the difference between Delusion and sanity Was just the unseen And I realized the difference between Pain and tranquility Was just ketamine And I realized the difference between A wildfire and a gleam Was just kerosene

about

13 emo songs about two people you may know

geocities.knifepunchrecords.com

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released November 26, 2019

All songs written by Eric Gaines. All instruments played by Eric Gaines.
Drums recorded by Mr. Whiskers. Mixing and mastering by Eric Gaines and Mr. Whiskers.

© Nova Robotics Initiative, 2019

Physical release and webpage by knifepunch records

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